I've long thought Australians come up with the most charming names for plants. Lilly Pillies. Billy Balls. Prickly Toothbrushs. Gossamer Wattle. We'll never match that charm, so perhaps we should focus on useful. Nowadays most people (non gardeners) want outdoor function, not charm. Kiss-Me-Over-The-Garden-Gate: what the heck does it do? (Besides reseed everywhere.)
Our brave new world needs names that help (okay, warn) non-gardeners about plants. Better names could help Non-gardeners to create a better basic landscape, and to be honest, to prevent problems for the avid gardener who lives next door and doesn't want invading plant thugs.
What about "Reliable Privacy" instead of Privet, for example. Lotsa Litter. Move-Before-Maturity. Rats Nest Palm. Sidewalk Lifter. Increase-Your-Equity. Bloomsalot. There-Goes-Your-Weekend. Descriptive common names could help the non-gardener who cares about plants only for what function they can perform. Here are some ideas.
Crash Barrier Plant:
Kid Repellent (This is the Turbo Gold version):
What ideas do you have for useful common plant names?